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When we found out that Patti Stanger was celebrating 100 episodes of her hit show The Millionaire Matchmaker we knew that she had to come to the Buzz Feed New York headquarters. " we asked, but it was so, so obvious: she needed to share her advice with those of us who needed it.

AM: I really like the guys in One Direction and they have a lot of money. And you're gonna meet One Direction how and get to date them? She even said I look like Michelle Williams, which is a personal life goal. KM: I never tell straight dudes I'm bi because it just ends up with, like, "Hey, do you wanna meet my girlfriend? Also nobody says tatas anymore:(But peak Aunt Patti happened when I asked her about women and being bi. ) but in a congenially harmless way like your drunk aunt that you live tweet on Thanksgiving. Julia Pugachevsky: When you meet someone and they're great, but you don't have anything in common as far as your taste in music, in movies —PS: In other words you're sexually attracted to them but you don't like what they do in their spare time. PS: That's a tough one because you really need to have two things you like to do together and that's kind of the glue because eventually your body's not gonna work and you're gonna get old, and you want your best friend. So what are we gonna do if we don't like who they are or what they stand for or what they do on the weekends? Chemistry can only get you to a party, it can't close the deal.

PS: Well don't even talk to me because it took me five seasons to get a lesbian [on the show] so I'm not the person to talk to. She was definitely talking about money, but I was talking about someone who's secure and established in their career path, so I'm not really surprised that that her advice was totally unhelpful. OK, I would say join an organization, like, whatever type of music you like. In the straight world you would do that because you'd want a job, or money, or something. If you can't see him for ~schwhing~ then you need to like, bolt. PS: I don't think he's that much of a millionaire, don't get excited.

She didn't let me finish my first question, which was going to be how do I find a guy who's not intimidated by a modicum of success (especially since I tend to date other writers, which yes, I know is bad news). PS: Have you seen Whiplash, they have some hot drummers?

Passive-aggressives are the men that don't ask you out, but want to be asked out. I thought her advice was pretty traditional, archaic, and backwards. So, I hate people that say they're "bad texters." I actually just wrote an essay about it. PS: Thirties have nothing to do with it, age is just a number.

What separates the men from the boys is the man asks you out first. In all fairness, I haven't tried her flirting technique yet and I'm still single. Sometimes guys don't text first or take forever to respond — and I get that, you're busy, we all have work, sure. You can be in a relationship or be dating someone and they get complacent.

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(Photo by Daniel Boczarski/Redferns via Getty Images)CHICAGO, IL - SEPTEMBER 13: Macaulay Culkin of The Pizza Underground performs on stage at Riot Fest Chicago 2014 at Humboldt Park on September 13, 2014 in Chicago, United States.

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